shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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