Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
