Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
