this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
