stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
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