I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Randomize
