i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
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