break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
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