Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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