I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Randomize
