you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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