Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
