They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I am available for nakedness
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Randomize
