can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Randomize