just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Randomize
