I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
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