so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Randomize