He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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