i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
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