Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Randomize
