you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Randomize
