It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize