By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
