there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Randomize
