yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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