well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
Randomize
