Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
