A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
how does that bad decision feel?
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
