Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
