Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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