I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
