with your own penis?
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Randomize
