I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
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