I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
