His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
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