how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize