oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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