i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Randomize
