a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize