Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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