i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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