I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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