STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
