I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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