I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
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