I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
