There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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