Its about making memories worth repressing
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Randomize
