If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
