dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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