He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Randomize
