what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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