Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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