Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
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