He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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