Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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