i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
