Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize