Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
