I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
meet me or not, i'm out of control
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
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