Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
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