yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." π ππ·
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
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