I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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