Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
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every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
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I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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