boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
