Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
