I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
