How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
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