It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
