you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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